Over the last several days I have felt varied experiences of what “focus” means. Generally, when I think of the word “focus”, my view is positive, thinking it means paying attention to what is right before me, what is happening at the moment. It is the opposite of being scattered, with my mind and thoughts dancing all over the place.
Focus for me has been different in the last week. Having finished the third major revision of the manuscript that is my memoir, I faced a major task of insuring the formatting, the nitty-gritty work of correcting typos, spacing errors, are corrected, as much as possible. This has been a time-consuming and total energy-consuming process. The recent focus involved intensity, tense muscles and too much sitting. I did not get up and breathe, move my energy through my body. So it was stuck, in my head and in my tight muscles, all to meet a deadline of getting my manuscript off to my writing consultant, who will read as a reader and editor. I think I was so excited to be at this point that I just gunned toward the finish line.
The realization about my lack of relaxing, lack of body movement hit me the following day. I was unaware of what my body was saying and feeling. I spent years in my head and now live differently. Tai Chi class this week has been heavenly, moving toward where I want and need to be, in concert with my students. This has not been a wake-up call, but a nudge, a reminder that every day, regardless of tasks at hand, needs some balance, needs caring of both mind and body. And yes, spirit, too.
Beautiful, Arlene! An important nudge for me too. And I’m grateful to know tai chi to bring that balance to my life.