Facing Problems Archives

Facing Barriers

August 12, 2022 By Arlene Faulk

This lively, engaging discussion about themes in my book Walking on Pins and Needles continues to resonate with me. It’s so evident that our lives are filled with stories that often include common themes when we reveal our story to others.

Here we are on a July 2022 afternoon, gathered in West Des Moines, Iowa, in a lovely living room. Most women did not know each other and we had an age range from 30’s to 80’s. What a great group! As I talked about my story, from my recently published memoir, I saw heads nodding up and down. We were connecting on a number of issues.

Facing barriers seemed to be a subject that resonated with everybody — “my doctor doesn’t believe me”; “I know I’m not making up the pain I’m feeling”; “what to do when no medication seems to work or the mounting side effects are worse than the condition they’re supposed to treat” “I can’t say anything at work because my skills and competency will be questioned.;” Being open about the barriers I faced helped others do the same and not feel alone. That is a big deal, not feeling alone.

Another of my themes was to keep going. Fear can keep us from trying something new, out of our comfort zone. And yet, we need to face our fears, do our homework and take a step forward, even when uncomfortable. What I learned through my experience is that we often fear what we don’t know. It holds us back. Think about this — the unknown, where we might go with trepidation is where the possibilities are. I had no idea what I was getting myself into with a practitioner of Chinese medicine, with Tai Chi. I jumped into the arena anyway. It changed my life. I could never have imagined that I could be healthy as I am today, because I didn’t know the possibilities. I jumped and the possibilities found me. There’s not a void in that unknown we no nothing about; there may be lots of options, possibilities, steps that might be taken to improve our lives.

Storytelling is important, not just for others to hear our story but to share common themes and experiences that we go through as human beings. Talking to each other face to face brings a special energy of connection and being in the moment. Hopefully, you will take some time to share your own story, with family, with friends, with a group gathered to share common experiences that help them know they are not alone and to inspire all of us to seek new possibilities that may be unknown to us right now.

keep it simple

July 11, 2022 By Arlene Faulk

How much stress do you feel these days? I hear that word daily from so many people. Some of it is financial with high gas prices and inflation, some from care-giving of a sick or aging relative, some from high expectations we have for ourselves and we fall short. We each deal with our own personal challenges, but it seems we are faced with a broader fear and concern about our personal safety. Most days we hear or read a story on the news that scares us and makes us think “that could be me.”

How do we calm our nervous system? By being kind, lending a hand, think of and doing for others. And to get grounded, I find it so helpful to focus on the simple things — a floating cloud

colorful flowers

a mesmerizing seahorse

When we stop, look at something in nature, even a lightning bug, we focus on the now, on the simple. That’s good medicine.

What a Year and What to do with Lingering Fear

May 2, 2021 By Arlene Faulk

Recently I wrote an article for Heartwood Center in Evanston, Il., where I teach Tai Chi. Here it is for you:

We’re all weary. Our past year didn’t go as we planned. Schools, businesses, religious services and vacations had to pivot to a new reality. Nothing seemed normal, whatever “normal” means. When I hear someone ask. “When will things return to normal?” I squirm. Things won’t return to normal. Our former life is gone; what was normal no longer exists. That might seem like a downer, but it could be exactly the opposite. We have the chance to create something new.

We want our children physically in the classroom, playing soccer, enjoying making music in the school band. We want to have a steady job, earn a living and pay our bills. And we want more, to visit with friends, go out to dinner, attend a baseball game, go to a concert.

Yet, with all that we want and wish for, fear lingers in our heads. Who do I feel safe with going out to dinner? When I return to work on-site how will I know it’s safe and who is vaccinated? How do I handle m family who disagrees with me about vaccinations and I don’t want a confrontation about what I should or should not do?

We need to move forward at some point, with fear and uncertainty surrounding us. How do we cope with that, mange anxiety and stress we feel?

First, we need to acknowledge what we’re feeling.

Second, we need to do something physical, take a walk, take time to look at the flowering trees and celebrate spring, ride a bicycle.

Third, limit time scrolling on our phones, listening to or watching the news. Get ourselves away from staring at a screen. Listen to our favorite music instead or read a written devotional or meditation.

This is a time to consider taking a class that promotes managing stress and creating stillness like Tai Chi or Yoga or Meditation. It’s a time to go for a professional massage or acupuncture to enhance our health, to talk with a psychologist or psychotherapist about our anxieties and how to move through them.

The key is to do something specific and positive. Take that step to get outside of ourselves and move forward to the new reality is unfolding ahead.

Most of you who regularly read my blog, are already “doing something.” However, this is a good reminder for each of us because it’s easy to tire of Zoom classes, drop out of a regular physical routine that has enhanced our health. We’re weary and maybe worn down. So it’s exactly the right time to renew and promise ourselves start a new class, or rejoin one that we decided to pass on when it went online. Wishing you renewed energy and do pass this on to others.

Coping in a Difficult Time Reflections

January 11, 2021 By Arlene Faulk

We all need ways to cope with uncertainty and fear that invade our lives. I asked my students how Tai Chi has been helping them cope with these difficult times. May we all have moments of calm and ways to reduce stress and anxiety. Read how David is experiencing that through Tai Chi:

“1. Through the pandemic, tai chi has been my constant. With so much uncertainty and change in our current lives, wondering (and not knowing) on a daily basis what the future will bring, tai chi remains unchanged: the warm up exercises we do and the form itself provide constancy. The moves remain the same week after week; the energy which infuses them are the same. Doing tai chi provides reassurance, the comfort of the familiar.

“2. Getting through the pandemic can be overwhelming — so much to think about, worry about, wonder about, to do. Life is simply more complicated these days. What once took one step now takes six.

“Tai Chi is a welcome and much needed antidote to this. Tai chi shifts your focus to small, elemental things — the position of your foot, the sweep of an arm, the bend of your elbow, the inhale of a breath, the weight of your leg as it presses into the ground, providing mental and physical balance as it sends roots deep into the earth.

“3. The community Tai Chi has provided has been a gift. With so much we can now do whenever we wish – with an app, or a YouTube video or a streaming service — meeting weekly (via zoom) in real time, live, to practice Tai Chi creates true community. Knowing that we all are moving in unison, at the same exact time, in our respective homes, creates a powerful energy which cannot be duplicated on one’s own.”

Coping in a Difficult Time

January 4, 2021 By Arlene Faulk

A new year brings hope and here we are in January, knowing we will slowly have more light in our days ahead. That’s a given with the rhythms of nature that we can count on. Even with a new year, we will still need to cope with the demands and stresses of each day. Uncertainty about the future still permeates our minds.

In the midst of all this uncertainty, I’m grateful for Tai Chi and for connecting online with my students each week these last ten months. With three weekly classes, we take the opportunity to greet each other, smile and move our energy together. We have the ancient wisdom of Tai Chi and its gentle, slow movements to help us reduce anxiety, promote balance and well-being.

Last week I asked my students to reflect on how Tai Chi has helped them cope with the isolation, devastating consequences of loved ones contracting COVID19, and other difficult days that we’ve been living through. I’m warmed by the wonderful comments they shared with me. Today and in future days, I’m going to share them with you. Whether or not you practice Tai Chi, hearing how others cope can be helpful and inspiring.

“As with so much else this year of 2020 I have mixed feelings about class via Zoom. I miss seeing everyone in person, but am extremely grateful that we can continue learning and practicing this way — and I don’t have to drive home after class.” – Irene

“I really enjoy our time together and I’ve found Tai Chi a great way to ‘keep moving,’ not only during this pandemic but also as a regular practice with a wonderful integration of mind, body and spirit.” – Martha

“Doing Tai Chi has been a great comfort during the COVID pandemic. I always feel a sense of calm come over me when class starts and Arlene gently reminds us to bring out minds into the room and into our practice. As I’ve been doing Tai Chi for 6 years now, my body knows these slow movements and relishes the gentle release and centeredness they bring. In addition, tuning into the class and seeing familiar faces of the other students brings a nice sense of community and connection during this time of separation and isolation.” – Julia

May each of us to find a way to have a few minutes of stillness to clear our heads, breathe and also find ways to connect with others. Thank you, Tai Chi friends, for helping me do that.

Managing Stress

November 1, 2020 By Arlene Faulk

We are in challenging times with so much uncertainty facing us every day. Regardless of whether we are worried about COVID19, losing a job, potentially having to close a small business, what’s ahead after a national and local elections, if it’s safe to have schools open, when we will able to see loved ones live in retirement homes, on and on.

Not one of us is free from stress and anxiety, heightened right now. If it accumulates day after day without relief, it will begin to take a toll on our bodies — headaches, back pain, high blood pressure and even worse. We need to be aware and take positive steps to manage and lessen our stress.

The most important step we can take is to breathe, I mean intentionally breathe. Plan a few minutes when you get up in the morning to breathe in, hold, then breathe out. Start with 5 breaths, then add more over time. We can walk outside, ride a bicycle take up resistance training. I recently heard that roller skating has made a comeback because it’s great exercise and easy to keep a safe distance from others.

Join a class that promotes relaxation, reduces stress and anxiety. Two excellent choices engaging both mind and body are yoga and Tai Chi. Since I teach Tai Chi and continue to experience its wonderful benefits of reducing stress and anxiety, improving balance and clearing my mind, I will focus on this centuries-old practice.

We learn to gently shift our weight while keeping the body totally connected. The waist and hips lead while arms and hands stay relaxed. The Tai Chi Classics say Tai Chi energy is rooted in the feet, moves up through the legs, is commanded by the waist and flowers through the hands.

The Yi (mind) moves the Qi (life force energy).With the mind focusing on moving energy and not the muscles, we are in the moment and stress decreases.