changing habits Archives

Don’t Try Harder

January 9, 2016 By Arlene Faulk

Making new year’s resolutions doesn’t seem to be in the news or talked about as much as it was years ago. I recently heard some quips about the futility, “It’s the first week of January and your big resolution is already broken.” and “Have you noticed that you have to wait in line to get on your favorite treadmill in your gym? Just wait a week and most people will have cleared out.” Losing weight and eating better are two popular goals that many people think about this time of year. I’ve also heard friends say that this year they want to be kinder, want to think more of other people first, want to volunteer in the local food pantry, more value-driven desires, desires to be a better person.

All intentions to do better have value, not only for ourselves, but also for all those who lives we intersect with and touch. What turns our desire into action? Making a plan, having a specific organization to work with, getting a family member or friend to join us in our new venture. And most involved getting out of the house, changing a pattern or habit that is ingrained in our daily lives.

Changing habits can be challenging, because our habits become comfortable, familiar, easy, just what we do without really thinking about it. Self-help books abound on how to develop new habits, how to become our best selves.

What often is not said — we may need to let go of something we are currently doing or thinking to do a new thing. Letting go of something about ourselves that is comfortable. Letting go of a pattern or person that drags us down. Letting go of saying ‘yes’ to all the requests people ask of us.

One of my Tai Chi teachers in San Diego said Tai Chi is not about trying harder. It’s about allowing and letting go. Profound. Continues to remind me about letting go. Each day. I think it’s an excellent lesson for all of us. For our new resolutions, our desires to be healthier, we try harder. Instead, we need to learn how to let go and be in the moment. Clear our heads. Be kind to our bodies. Move our energy in positive ways. Tai Chi helps us learn how to do that.

What will you do to let go, so you can start to fulfill your goal of living a healthier life?

Change: Taking that First Step

September 29, 2013 By Arlene Faulk

Recently a young woman, probably in her early 30’s, called me and said clearly that she wanted to start a Tai Chi Class.

“I have a lot of anxiety,” she said. “My doctor told me that Tai Chi would be the best prescription for me. In fact, he said he would not give me a prescription for medicine because Tai Chi would absolutely be the best thing.”

We talked for a few minutes and with enthusiasm, she said, “This really sounds good. I will come to your class next Tuesday.”

“That’s five days away,” I said. “Would you like me to call you on Tuesday for a gentle reminder to help you get out the door?”

She chuckled and replied, “That’s so nice of you because I will have some anxiety about getting myself out of my house and also about being in a new class that I know nothing about. But, no, I’m determined and I’ll be there.”

She never showed up.

A woman, in her late fifties, called about joining one of my Tai Chi classes.

“I’ve been wanting to try Tai Chi for years,” she said. “I need to work on my balance and generally learn how to relax. I’m so excited because I recently moved and am in walking distance of where you teach classes,” she added.

After answering a couple of her questions, she said, “This is perfect for me. I can’t wait to get started. I’ll be there next week.”

She never showed up.

The desire seemed to be there for both of these women. They know Tai Chi would be good for their health. Their intention might be there, but for some reason they can’t take that step to action. They are not alone. In order to change a habit, learn a new skill, try a class a person must take that first action step — getting out the door and into a class.

What is the key to changing desire and intention into action? What got you out the door to take a class, start walking or riding your bicycle. Let me know — your experience may be a key in motivating someone else to take that first step.

Lift Your Knee

June 1, 2012 By Arlene Faulk

Walking is a popular activity at this time of year. The sun is shining. It’s warm outside and we are in days of many hours of light. We feel like moving and know that some exercise is good for us.

What do we think about when we’re walking? Are we paying attention to what’s around us, other walkers and bicyclers, the flowers, the birds, the lake, the bright green leaves on the trees? Or are we in our own world, thinking about work deadline that’s looming, what we’re going to have for dinner, how to resolve a sticky problem or the worst, texting while crossing a busy street corner? Texting walkers can be a challenging obstacle course. And a couple weeks ago I saw a woman reading a hardback book as she walked down the street. Totally unaware of where she was, totally unaware of other walkers and cars.

In Tai Chi class, we practice walking, keeping our legs and feet parallel, focusing on moving our weight totally over the standing leg before picking up the opposite foot. And speaking of our feet, some of us don’t always pick up our foot to take the next step. “How can we take a step forward if we don’t pick up our foot?’ you might ask. Some of us shuffle along, from heel to toe, without actually lifting our foot. Or we drag our heel. It may be habit or weak legs or a physical challenge. Whatever it is, it’s a recipe for a potential stumble and fall.

I ask students to think about not only lifting the foot to take the next step, but also the knee. When you lift the knee, that leg comes up vertically and you firmly have your weight on the standing leg. It’s training our body to firmly have our standing leg be planted into the ground or sidewalk. That gives us stability and helps promote proper alignment throughout our body. It also promotes a vertical movement rather than just a forward movement.

This practice, over time, can help us improve our walking, slow us down and prevent falls. The next time you’re out walking, pay attention to what your habits are. Are you shuffling, looking down, favoring one side? Take a few moments to slow down — place your foot solidly on the ground, lift the opposite knee and foot, and then take a step forward. Happy and safe walking!